A Letter to King Larry

Mr J. D. Bartlett,

To His Royal Highness King Larry, by the grace of God, King of Google, Lord High Executioner of Blogger, Emperor of YouTube and his other domains.

Monday 18 April 2011


Your Royal Highness,

First of all, allow me to congratulate you on your recent ascension to the throne. As your loyal subject I was somewhat disappointed that I was unable to attend Your Majesty’s coronation. I was hoping that Your Highness would hold the ceremony somewhere conspicuous and easily accessible in the realm of YouTube, but alas, the momentous event seems to have passed without fanfare.

I write this letter in response to the recent education reforms in the land of YouTube. As I understand it, citizens of the realm who have been caught in the act of piracy are to be given a chance to reform their behaviour by sitting an examination pertaining to matters of copyright and copyright laws. Those who refuse to sit the exam will face the harshest penalty imaginable: exile.

I heartily approve of this measure. Indeed, I am writing to humbly request that Your Majesty extends this measure. It seems to me that, should Your Majesty so desire, similar examinations could be put in place for citizens who break other laws and conventions of the land. For instance, your highness is no doubt aware that YouTube, while renowned for the many grand works of art that its citizens produce, has long repulsed visitors by the sheer quantity of garbage found in her streets and commentways. Perhaps Your Majesty would consider requiring citizens with three downvotes to take an examination or risk exile from the realm. Perhaps, in time, similar punishment could face those dastardly citizens who upload pointless or misleading videos.

I commend Your Highness on taking such a deep interest in the affairs of your subjects and I look forward to witnessing your future decisive actions in these matters.

Your humble servant,

J. D. Bartlett.

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